Communication: Should is a tricky word
- Dr. Sara Reed
- Sep 10, 2024
- 1 min read
Sometimes elementary school just nails it … last night I was doing homework with my littlest one & while this is spelling, it prompted me thinking of the word “should.”
“He should know …” 🤔
“She should have …” 🤔
“What you should do … “ 🤔
Often when I hear the word “should” it’s used in one of three ways …
1. An expectation of knowledge … valid or not.
2. An expectation that someone knew to do something. A set expectation? Or maybe not …
3. An expectation that you will follow the path someone wants you to. Whether that path fits you or not.
“Should” IS a tricky word … one that even when intended with positive intent can instead send a judgment, criticism or even disconnect from connection with someone.
? What if instead of these “should” moments, we took the advice of Amy Edmondson & created conditions for questions and truth or followed Jeff Wetzler’s suggestion to simply ask …
Questions like …
❓Have you done this before? How can I support you with this project?
⁉️ (To yourself) What expectations do I have? Did I set them clearly?
❤️ What options are you considering?
Instead of “should,” what if more of us embraced curiosity? What if we let go of what we think “should” be and meet people where they are in your journey?
Read the Books:
The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth. (Edmondson) https://a.co/d/5uEhgL2
Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs In Leadership and Life. https://a.co/d/0cQ6M0M
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